Skills In Court
by TheThunderboltKid
Summary: Just another day in the courtroom, doing the usual thing annoying McCoy, annoying Carver, acting smug...


Disclaimer: if i owned them i'd be dead. seriously i would've died of happyness by now. my characters are mine so don't steal them, my ideas are all i own. the spelling mistakes are mine. i don't have spellcheck or a beta (to be honest i'm not sure what one is).

the following is what happens when stupid teachers make you resit maths exams, even though you passed. but noooo they don't think your grade is good enough and make you attend extra lessons never mind that youre failing biology and need to revise for that, they think your happy to waste valuable time retaking a test and lessons which you've already bloody passed anyway (deep breath) your mind starts to wander and mine always leads back to law and order ci.

this is my first fic. so please be nice and if you must flame be constructive. its a one shot but i might adds some more if people like. it was partially inspired by a kid at school.

thanks. TK

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**Skillz In Court.**

I really don't like this. It's too quiet although you can hear everyone holding a collective breath in the gallery. And to top it all off they're expecting me to be polite and sit still. Do they know who I am? There's nothing I'd love more than a good pace right now but my gut tells me Jack wouldn't like that, I can already hear him screaming "Objection!". Oh wait, Here's comes Carver (God knows what strings Deakins had to pull to get him back here to defend me. Best not to think about that right now though). It's showtime

Carver gives me a big smile, which turns out to be a bad idea. That's really unnerving, creepy even and now I've forgotten what I was supposed to say and I was told so many times not to deviate from the script. Screw it. I look up at the gallery, see the expectant faces. As much as I hate to disappoint them I'm gonna have to wing it.

"Very well Mr. Goren you may begin."

I breathe in very slowly buying myself some extra time to gather a half decent thought and turn it into a case winning defence.

"I think, if I'm completely honest with myself, I always knew this was an inevitable result of me entering this world. I was bound to inherit some of his less favourable qualities"

"Who?" asks the ever inquisitive Mr. Carver.

"My father"

The look on Carver's face is brilliantly angry. It would be funny if it wan't so serious a situation. He tries to speak but I cut him off...

"People talk about heritage a lot around me."Great my legs twitching, ignore it Goren, "So... Yeah I got the usual sort of stuff everyone does early on you know? Whose eyes did I get? Whose nose? Chin? Any other part of the body you want to name. But as you grow people forget about the looks you've got. Its all about the charater that's been passed on, the skills. Like languages you know? I speak a lot of them, particularly german. I mean my parents had a lot of recogniseable traits. And reading people. I've been known to manipulate people a little bit, apparently I get it from my Father, but I've never done it for profit I swear. People were always on the look out for them These stupid but apparantly genetic abilities. They all expected so much from me, these people who didn't know me personally, just had heard off one of my parents or worse both. And then I began to expect the same from myself as well.

All these years I've been waiting for this day I truly believed her genes would win the battle of supremacy in my DNA. That my father's couldn't. Not here, not now, not in this situation. And when the time finally arrived, full of confidence I stepped inside."

I paused, partly for dramatic effect, partly to sneak a glance at the jury. They look confused about my approach to this. Come on people! Give me a minute here! I'm trying to make a serious point about genetics and secure a "not guilty" at the same time. Perhaps I should appear more sincere, repentent even? I'll try...

"I freely admit Sir that my overconfidence in an untested ability was my downfall."

This ain't working. Time to employ emergency strategy 5: humour.

"So I confidently adjusted my mirrors. Confidently fastened the seatbelt. Confidently started the engine. I'm confident that my instructor will agree that I started perfectly."

Juror Number 7's gone. She's looking at the floor but she can't hide her smile. God Bless You Ma'am!

"I then proceeded to confidently pull out of the space and was confidently about to switch on my indicator when a car pulled out in front of me. As you can imagine this knocked my confidence..."

Number 5's gone as well. He looks like a chipmunk the way he's chewing his cheek.

"However I regained my ... oh damn what's the word I'm looking for here?"

"Confidence perhaps?" the jury foreman offers politely if a tad unnecessarily. Numbers 9 and 6 are turning quite red now.

"Yes. Thank you. I then attempted to perform an emergency stop. Unfortunately I accidently pressed the accelorator instead of the brake"

Numner 11, check. Number 4, check.

"This caused me to perform a perfect but unecessary PIT manouvre." I look to the jury, my freedom depends on my ability to keep a straight face, "I'm Confident it won't happen again"

3, 2, 10, check. 8 just looks hungry.

Carver looks shellshocked. Uncle Pete nudges him and he sits down. McCoy stands up.

"Intresting theory you've got about family there son"

I nod and smile politely. Inside I'm seething, he's trying to get sent down. He's not allowed to call me that.

"Got a theory about family myself. Your family in particular."

Oh get to your point Jack.

"You said in you're statement you recognosed the car before the impact. You knew the driver"

"Yes, sir"

"And your families aren't on friendly terms are they? It's quite the little feud isn't it?"

"I suppose you could call it that. But truly Sir. You can't accuse me of deliberately trying to harm one of the cities most respected Detectives just because of who he's related to. Give me some credit. If I was gonna try and run anyone over it would've been his predecessor the 'honourable' Chief Moron, not his son. I don't go after a persons' family."

"It's pronounced Moran", Mr. McCoy is a real stickler for respect in the courtroom.

"Not in our house, or in the Major Case Squad, or the Special Victims Unit, or..." I stop and give him my best shark-style smile, "Would you like me to continue (insert smug pause here) Sir?"

Ladies and Gentleman, a score update. Morans:3 Gorens: 359

I'll savour this moment 'cause now I now I'm going home. Carl Moran's on his feet incandescant with rage (this will turn into fullscale war now but i'm not worried for the moment). I look around me, the jury's smiling, Carver's smiling, Uncles Danny and Mike both look like they're having some sort of fit 'cause they're shaking so much. Hell even old Blakemore's smiling and heaven knows he aint no friend of my family. Mom and Dad aren't smiling, though they're not angry either but they'll have to pretend to be later. for appearences sake, I understand. Grandpa Jimmy is the only one trying to look disappointed in me but he's not succeeding, not with that eyepatch.

And Mr McCoy? Well he's just discoverd the deadly combination I inherited at birth. Dad's brain and Mom's mouth. If i weren't raised in such a stable and loving home with good morals I would've took over the world a long time ago. But it would upset my folks and i need to stay on their good side. Dad teaches me really cool stuff about psychology and gives me skittles when I get answers right. Mom's gonna be driving me around for lot longer than she thought so as much as it pains me I'll have to give all my skittles.

Just a normal day for the Goren's though, right?

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well i liked it for a first try. i'll get better i hope. seriously there is a kid like this in my school no one can yell at him. he just makes you laugh he gets away with murder i tell thee.

in conclusion:

roses are red.

violets are blue.

thanks for reading.

please review.

TK.


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